Art school.
Two words which I have thought about for years. Two words that have been a dream of mine for years. I could count the reasons that I believed when I was younger why I shouldn’t go: artists don’t make any money, it’s not a career…it’s a hobby, artists are sad, lonely, desperate people….on and on…. Those negative, self-limiting beliefs can really wreak havoc if you let them.
It has taken me a while to understand the importance of my creativity, my passion for all things handmade and beautiful, and the value of being an artist. I no longer believe that disowning my creativity is healthy. I fully embrace that I am an artist and a creative being who needs to express her art.
I have spent most of my adult life appreciating other people’s art and creativity, representing artists through my business, and collecting beautiful artwork to decorate my home. I have surrounded myself with arts and artists my entire life while simultaneously denying myself the right and need to express myself creatively and artistically. I have done this because primarily I don’t have the stamp of approval of a MFA or art degree. I didn’t know, or didn’t believe, that I could be an artist too. That is…without going to art school.
Now I realize my inherent creativity and worth as a creative soul, and as an artist.
pixelsandpaper image- Flickr
Yes, I am an artist. I love to own this title, label, job description, and all the excitement and beauty that this word conjures up for me. I love to see paint covering my hands, my clothes, and live the joy it brings me when I am creating. But yet, yet….I struggle sometimes calling myself “an artist” out loud because, well, I didn’t go to art school. I don’t have that stamp of approval, the letters to follow my name, or the realization that I have mastered this dream. I have embraced that I am an artist whether or not I attend an art school….I just am now questioning whether or not I really need, or want, to fulfill this dream.
So I’ve been questioning myself as to why art school matters? And does it matter enough to ME to go?
Do I need the title of an art degree to see myself as a valid artist? I’ve been asking myself this question for a while now and I admit, my answer changes almost daily. I see the pros and cons for myself and what I hope to accomplish as well.
MY CONS: Now I realize there are many, many wonderful self-taught artists who either don’t care about going to art school or have received acclaim without it. And I believe at some level in art school you are “taught” how to “do” particular skills and mediums. BUT….I question whether if going to a formal program will also change my inherent creativity and maybe suck the spirit of my art? I have heard this many times from people who think going to art school just isn’t worth it. Whether I will lose this level of untapped creativity….well, that might not be fair to say, but this level where I am at now….having no rules, expectations, ideas of how to do something is rather freeing.
MY PROS: I would like to learn techniques. After reading this article of reasons why you should go to art school, I find myself nodding my head in agreement. This article outlines all the reasons I feel I not only want to go…but NEED to go. The article line of “In school you do not only learn. You become.” strikes me to my core. This is why I want to go to art school. I am in the process of becoming right now…and the idea of becoming my true artist self (after being exposed to so much more than I can imagine) is just compelling me to sign up right now! I can imagine myself learning so many things and then finding my true artistic voice and developing a fresh style, approach, or method that is as unique as the rest of me.
I would love to formally learn the “how’s” of a certain process or effect for my artwork. I love the idea of being taught all about influential artists who have broadened the definitions of art and have created artwork that is truly unique, creative, and inspiring.
So then I question…when I learn about the master artists, what if these aren’t the ones that I find creative and influential? And the techniques I would learn…once I learn them, will I then be able to go past that level and be truly creative in a novel way?
What I know: Right now I have to offer my unique, fresh, unaltered, unschooled artwork that is uniquely mine. I do value opinions about my work, but only when they are positive. I’m not secure enough yet to take criticisms of my work. I love being and creating alongside other artists and value the inspiration that I get being with a group of people who are making their own art. (Each doing their own thing) I do not value the judgments and comparisons that I seem to make of myself and others work. I don’t want to find myself in a position to judge others work or have my own judged. I have found that in the few college art courses I’ve taken, critiques are part of the process and setting myself up to compare myself to others just doesn’t feel healthy or joyful. Creating the art is joyful and while I do like to hear suggestions of what I could try, think about, or discover…I only want those when I want them. I know…it probably doesn’t work that way in school. I have received healthy criticisms in the form of suggestions for improvement and I do find myself growing from this feedback.
There is also the idea that I don’t want to take the classes that I’m not interested in but in an art degree program, that isn’t a choice. I would assume I have to take Drawing 101 or something like that and frankly, I have no desire to draw. However, in the article referenced above, this line, “Such versatility comes from being forced to do things you would not choose to do on your own, and exposed to ideas you would normally not be interested in.“ speaks to how art school can open your art to a whole new level by just being exposed to ideas, mediums, and techniques you would never even consider (for me, that’s definitely drawing). Right now at this phase in my life, I only want to take the classes or courses that interest me like abstract painting, printmaking, and fiber arts. I cannot even imagine sitting and drawing still lives or nudes. Though I am sure I could find some silver lining in taking these classes, I simply have no desire at all. As the article suggests, my artwork could grow into a new form I never could imagine. And I too, would grow to a new level of artist. That brings me back to becoming the artist I am capable of….
So for now I am taking workshops, classes, that inspire me. I’m keeping a list of these classes for future reference and thinking about creating a portfolio to submit to galleries and/or schools. I am also thinking about approaching artists directly and asking them if I could work with them one-on-one in an apprentice role. I realize some may not want this intrusion on their creativity but some I would guess would like to be a mentor to an up and coming artist.
pixelsandpaper image - Flickr
And I continue to think about it. Still.
Would love to hear others thoughts on this conundrum….
