Authentic Awakening

This piece of artwork is entitled, Inner Critic. I created it in June 2010.

This mixed media piece truly evolved right in front of my eyes. I had been experimenting with various types of textures in my artwork and began playing with sand. Initially as I was creating this piece, I was thinking that I was going to create a window to my soul and let the piece evolve to show me my inner world. I don’t really plan my paintings per se, but let them evolve sometimes organically but sometimes with a thought in mind. This one I *thought* was going to be representational of the positive growth in my journey towards authenticity, but little did I know this piece would end up revealing my inner critic who wanted to be revealed.

As the piece evolved, I was drawn to the bright colors of crimson, gold, and deep blue to frame my soul’s window. And as I sat back and observed the piece, I realized my soul had something to share and that it needed to be revealed in the window. Little did I know it was going to be my Inner Critic.

I admit I put the piece aside for a good long while, months I think, to just be. I didn’t know what my soul wanted to reveal as part of my journey…but I knew if I was patient enough, I would KNOW. I only realized that I didn’t know what to do with it…yet I knew the piece wasn’t done.

After some experiments with painted cheesecloth, I decided to make an abstraction of my spirit emerging through a ladder in the window. I selected a piece of multicolored cheese cloth and physically ripped, tugged, and pulled the fabric.  I gave it a great deal of energy arranging the fabric on my window until I found just the right space and shape to be framed. Again, the piece sat untouched for a while because it just didn’t seem right, or complete.

Then after a great night’s sleep, I visited my studio space and immediately saw it was a being…and at once I knew who it was. My critic. My Inner Critic. You know, that voice of doubt, fear, second guessing, and nagging that can over take your dreams. There she was. At once I added her blood-red eyes (of course she wants to suck out my soul if I’d let her) and I acknowledged her as part of myself.

Once her three metal arms were included…she was done.

Now that I have brought my Inner Critic to life artistically, I am ready to let her go. I have listed her as my first item for sale (YEA FOR ME!!) in my new Etsy shop, Life Force Art.

Take a look. Maybe to me she’s a critic, maybe to you…she’s a force to be reckoned with!