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My daughter’s poem and prayer

October 19, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

My 10 year old daughter shared with me this poem she wrote yesterday and I was so touched by it I wanted to share.

 

A Prayer

A prayer for the songs.

A prayer for the butterflies.

A prayer for the animals.

A prayer for the birds.

A prayer for the plants.

A prayer for the trees.

A prayer for the people.

A prayer for the world.

A prayer for the sun.

A prayer for the moon.

A prayer for the stars.

A prayer for the future.

A prayer for the past.

A prayer for freedom, love, friends and hope.

A prayer for life.

Posted in Creativity, Mindful parenting | 1 Comment »

My #1 thing I did to improve my creativity and unleash it

September 9, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

Recently I have discovered the joy, the wonder, and the amazing fulfillment of creativity coaching. This is an incredible field where professional coaches will work to support you achieving your creative dreams and desires. There is something amazing about working with a coach who will not only challenge you and  your belief systems (am I too old to go back to art school?) but also champion you to seize opportunities that the Universe delivers your way.

The field of creative coaching is new and certainly isn’t as big as life coaching is now but it appears to be growing. People are wanting and needing a way to connect to their creative source and having a trained professional who knows how to guide you is an amazing experience. I have worked with a creativity coach and I can say that it is probably the #1 thing I did for myself, my confidence with my art, and believing that my artwork is just as important to me as Piccasso’s was to him.

If you haven’t tried it, I recommend trying out this Cultivating Creative Dreams session with this creative coach and discovering how you can create the life, work, and creative expression you really want. It doesn’t matter if you paint or scupt dolls. You can get coached around any issues around creativity, you life or even creating a business.

Try it. Totally worth the investment.

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Meet Desmond, my gremlin

August 3, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

Recently I took a doll making class in which I decided to make a 3D version of my inner critic, otherwise known as my personal gremlin. You know, this is the voice you hear that tells you that you aren’t “good enough”. I had previously made a 2D version of my critic as seen here  but I decided to bring this voice more to  life so then I could really figure out how to deal with it.

Making this doll was very cathartic for me. Not only did I have to really think about this gremlin and how it appeared to me but I also had to spend time with his awful messages. I knew in representing my gremlin these messages needed to illustrate just how sly and crafty there are. In making this doll, boy! did I ever experience many of these messages about not knowing what I was doing, that the doll was horrible looking, and that I would be laughed at when I became brave enough to share it.

Here is my gremlin, also known as Desmond. If you notice, Desmond is holding a scroll with all the devious messages he says to me when I am facing a challenge or an opportunity.  When the situation faces me, Desmond will scroll through his messages and find just the right zinger that will keep me small, prevent me from taking risks, and reminding me that I am really not good enough, talented enough, or smart enough to do what I think I can.

I know from my career as a professional creativity coach, that these messages Desmond delivers have been crafted over many years, from various people and places in my life, and are deeply individualized for me.

Now that I can plainly see Desmond and the mean-spirited messages, I get to decide what to do with him (and those thoughts).

For now, I have put Desmond on my shelf in my studio right near where I work. Every time I start to get that thought of  “this sucks” or “you don’t know what you are doing…“, I glance to Desmond and say,

“Oh there you are Desmond. I hear you trying to keep me from being the confident, talented, authentic artist I am. I know you want me to fail, but I am going to persevere and create another success.”

I find myself talking back to Desmond in the studio, and in other places in my life when I start the negative self talk. I find this to be a powerful experience in choosing in how I want to talk to myself and how I want to counter negativity.

Posted in Creativity, Living Intentionally, Mixed Media, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Giving yourself permission to grieve

July 28, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

Today I just learned that a friend is going to die.

Hearing this kind of news puts everything into perspective, doesn’t it? This comes after learning last week of an old friend from my past just lost her 12 year old son unexpectedly and still his death is unexplained. I have death, grief, despair, and wonder on my mind. (Yes, wonder….I am wondering what do I do with all of this!)

Today I am thinking of my friend, this  strong, vibrant woman in the prime of her life that has lost her battle with cancer. Oh, she kicked it for a few years and was dubbed “a survivor” and today her family is with her not knowing if she has moments or days or weeks left. I wonder if anything could have changed this path for her? Does she have regrets or wishes that are in the forefront of her mind as she lays dying?

Oh, what we can learn from others at their final moments of truth. Oh, what this makes me realize and think about in terms of my life….

I have been all consumed in my life now for the past few months. I am building a new business, moving into a dream home, letting go of people and roles that no longer serve me, and continue embracing my authentic self.  And now here I sit questioning all of this wondering if I were my friend dying right now, what would I want to be telling me right now?

I do want to answer this but I recognize right now is not the time.

In order to even begin to move through my emotions, I need to express and experience them. So I decided to let go, cry, mourn, and embrace anything positive I can find thinking about my friend, her journey, and my own. I’m really trying here to see a lesson in this but realize I have a lot of negative emotions that I need to feel before looking at anything more positive in this.

I am overcome with such guilt (for living), anger (for the injustice of it), grief (for her young children and husband), guilt (for not seeing her recently), despair (for all that she has unfinished in her life), and regret (for not telling her how much I love, respect, and admire her). These are vying for my attention and battling within me.

Oh yes.  I have had a good, long cry….and I have given myself permission to really feel all of these emotions. I am almost ready to think about…. what do I NEED and WANT to take away from this? What would my friend want me to think about, learn, and take from her life……but I’m not quite ready.

For right now, I need to grieve.

 

Posted in Living Intentionally, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

May 30, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

Recently I took a new type of class for me. I took a monotype printmaking class with Lori Hendrickson. She is an amazing artist and I’m so glad I took this class.

I have to be honest that I had no idea what I was signing up for but I took it because my art buddy suggested it and I didn’t have another class on tap.

The four week monotype class was just what I wanted and needed! This process was invigorating and freeing. I was able to mix colors of paint, create lots and lots of fun textures, scrap away parts I didn’t like, and then hope my print would take. I was prolific and made so many prints during my month. Many are unfinished and I intend to go back and later add pen and ink or mixed media to the prints.

So here is a collection of the prints I made with the last one being my favorite:

What I loved about the monotype class is that I had to just let go. I had to let go of perfection, of hope, of being in love the with plate I painstakingly made.  No matter how I loved the plate I made, when I prepared it and readied it for printing…the print never, ever resulted how I expected. So even though I couldn’t tell you how I made the plate that resulted in this plate, this is the closeup of my favorite.

I love the colors, shapes, and textures in this one:

So what did I learn taking this class? I love monotype printing. I love an artistic process where I can’t control the final product and I love how the plates transformed into a magical surprise.

I ended up buying the supplies to make my own monotypes and I look forward to making some soon!

Posted in Creativity, My artwork, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments »

Been gone a bit, but I’m back and still awakening.

May 23, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

So it’s been much longer than I have intended to write on this blog. I have been busy at work helping people awaken creativity within themselves through my new creativity coaching business.  When you help others it is so fulfilling and I absolutely love working with my clients and am gaining so much too.

One of the areas that I am specifically focusing on for myself  is balance.  This means finding balance and making time for  running a business AND a family AND taking care of myself AND staying focused on my own creative pursuits.  I believe in walking the talk as a coach and I am working to make sure my live reflects the values that are essential to who I am.

One of my top values is CREATIVITY and over the past two months, here is what I’ve focused on for my creative work:

  • Took  a monotype printing class. (As soon as I figure out how to upload my new phone images, I plan to blog on this wonderful class).
  • Took a doll making class where I’ve explored paper clay, sewing, painting, and beading.
  • Designing a 3D representation of my inner critic. This has been a journey of self discovery as I’ve brought my gremlin to life (unveiling coming soon)
  • Created a support and accountability group for myself as an artist that meets on a regular basis.
  • Created a new business, new website, and marketing materials for my coaching business.
  • Committing to weekly art time in blocks and working to create at least 15-30 minutes per day.
  • Enjoyed a wonderful day at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.
  • Taking “field trips” to new museums, art centers, and even supply stores (FUN!)
  • Attended a gallery opening for a new art friend.
  • Helped my children transform an old, gross bureau to a funky work of art!
  • Reading inspiring, motivating, and empowering creativity books. (More on these later!)
  • Committing to keeping this blog come alive as I continue to awaken more and more of myself!

So now I’m off to make time to read another creativity book!

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Don’t Be a Selfish Little Clod. BE YOU.

April 5, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

“This is the true  joy in life,
the being used for a purpose
recognized by yourself
as a mighty one;
the being thoroughly worn out
before you are thrown on the scrap heap;
the being a force of Nature
instead of a feverish selfish little clod
of ailments and grievances

complaining
that the world will not  devote itself
to making you happy.”

- George Bernard Shaw

Posted in Living Intentionally | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

A joyful career transition

March 18, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

One of the joys I have had in my life recently is my transition to my new career. This has been a long time coming…actually about 2 years in the making. I have worked very hard to become authentic and awaken parts of myself that have been buried under “shoulds” of life, expectations, and others judgments.

The main area I have “awakened” is my creativity. This blog in fact, was developed as I awakened different parts of myself and owned my creative expressions. While I have neglected lately, it is solely because all of my energy and creative passion has been focused on my new business, Awaken Creativity.

2011 is my year of abundance and as part of the launch of my new business of creativity coaching I am offering 3  complementary sessions of coaching to all my blog followers. Please head over to the website, take a looksie around, and then contact me to schedule your first free session.

I have awakened so many dreams, goals, and my creative passion so that I can be in service to others doing the same. I am SO very honored and thrilled to be making this transition and I look forward to sharing more on this blog, as well as my new website.

Stay tuned!

Posted in Living Intentionally | Leave a Comment »

Explorations in color, composition, creativity, courage, and confidence

February 19, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

A few weeks ago I made some well needed time for myself and took a class on color and composition. This was taught by Jane Davies and while the class was WAY too short (aren’t art classes ALWAYS too short?) I did end up learning SO much.

In college I took a color theory class and spent a lot of time learning about the color wheel, shades, tints, complementary colors, and all the ways colors can be used to set the tone for a painting. In this recent course, we did the same. However, this time, I was at whole new place with my creativity because I have worked very hard to claim my creativity through the process of creating, and embracing myself as an artist. WAAAY back then, I was unsure and afraid and oh-so-intimidated by the “real” artists in my class. I remember distinctly having to display our pieces in the front of the class for everyone to see. Next to others work, mine was so elementary and simplistic I felt ashamed. I didn’t know myself as an artist and I certainly didn’t value the process of making art. I judged myself against my peers in a way that confirmed to myself that going to art school was a dream and that I would remain a closeted wanna-be.

After many years of living the closeted-creative life, it took a lot of courage to start creating again. Over the past few years I have embraced my fears of being perfect, not “good enough” as a artist, aligned myself with my creative values and really just leaned into creating for the sake of expressing who I am.

With this in mind, now as I take art classes, I approach classes as an opportunity to learn more about myself , embrace mistakes and failure as part of clarifying my artwork, and further deepening my relationship with my creativity.

So my approach to this recent class was to show up  with confidence and courage. I AM confident I am an artist now even though my work still may be deemed as simplistic by some. I AM confident I am growing as an artist and finding my authentic path through acrylics.  I know now that I haven’t found “IT”–that being the art/medium that expresses my creative purpose BUT…I KNOW that I am closer than I was 15 years or so ago. And now I can attend classes knowing that I have the courage to splatter paint, make mistakes and even “hate” a piece but still walk away from the class having gained much more insight to my creative process.

In terms of this color and composition class, I was able to create a color wheel that I could use to guide my relationship with color in my abstract works. In the past, I might have spent the entire time trying to perfect the mixing of the colors to get just the right hue… this time I knew it wasn’t the color wheel that I needed to focus on  the knowledge of how color works and the colors that I think represent who I am.

So while I re-learning the “basics” of the color wheel, I developed a deeper awareness of my relationship with my creativity and the colors that represent part of my personal palette. Yea! That feels great to say!

I also realized during this class that I want to know more about composition.  I recognize part of my fears about painting revolve around “not-knowing” how to create a balanced, pleasing to the eye abstract picture. The class helped to bring an awareness of using both a grid and cruciform composition. Unfortunately we didn’t have a whole lot of time to move deeper into this but I was able to practice both types of composition.

Although the class was *only* a day, I walked away with a deeper understanding of how I want to use color and composition in my paintings to express who I am. I want to continue to boldly paint and confidently embrace color from both traditional theory and then push it to be more courageous.  I want to further my understanding about traditional composition and then learn how to modify it and push boundaries.

Exploring color and composition allowed me to create these pieces. I don’t consider them all “finished” but I played with both colors (a lot of monochromatic ones) and composition.  I know creativity is a process and journey and these pieces not only represent some of what I’ve learned about “art” but also represent my creative journey in becoming who I am as an artist. Eventually I will “get there” but right now I’m appreciating the journey.

Posted in Creativity, My artwork, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

What are the values you align yourself with?

February 1, 2011 by AUTHENTIC AWAKENING

The only thing holding you down, holding you back, is your inability to give up on anything that’s not 100% you.  And the only thing that can set you free is your uncompromising refusal to do anything that’s not in 100% alignment with who you really are. ~ Clay Collins

As part of my quest to be as authentic as I can and to live my life by my standards, I am trying to live by only the things that are alignment with who I am and the values I hold dear. Recently I spent some time really thinking about the values I want to live in my life and while all of them are represented in my favorite words I also think it’s worth mentioning again.

I did some type of checklist reviewing all sorts of values by which people live their lives. There were probably 100 listed but the goal was to bring it down to FIVE main values.  Let me tell you this was hard. Going through this process was really rewarding though because it helped me become crystal clear on the things I want to have in my life and how I want to base my decisions.  It also was shining a beacon on what has been missing in the past and how I intend on making decisions for my future.

Now I recognize as we age and change over time, our values will also shift and evolve. Today the ideas and values that direct me are very different from my life in my 20′s, before children, or even just three years ago. Now that I am fully aware of what I want guiding me, I am ready to embrace my life with full abundance and really, and I mean really, live from a place that embodies MY ideals.

For me to be 100% aligned with who I am and living an authentic life, I will make decisions based on my core values of:

 

 

If you had to choose 5 words by which you made decisions and aligned your life…what would YOUR words be?

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